TAKING YOUR MARRIAGE TO THE NEXT LEVELS

How To Improve On Your Marriage! (3)

Dear Reader,
Peace and blessings be multiplied to you in this month of the Birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. In my first lesson, I told you that marriage is a miracle. Last week, I looked at marriage covenant responsibilities.
This week, I want you to Beware Of Divorce! Enjoying a loving home is God’s utmost desire for you and your spouse this Christmas and forever. That was His design from the beginning of creation.
Divorce can be likened to marital amputation. It causes a lot of grief, pain, and wound that only God can heal. Even when a wound is healed, the scar remains, and in most cases, for life. Give no place to divorce. Remember, prevention is said to be better than cure. When there is challenge in your home, divorce should not be the first option that comes to mind. Rather, it is important to first identify and analyze the challenge.
In the beginning of the institution of marriage, divorce was not a part of this original plan, and was never supposed to be a part. The Word of God says:

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

Note the word “Man … shall leave, cleave and become one flesh”.
God hates putting away! The Word of God says: For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away (Malachi 2:16). What God says He hates, you should hate too. If you move close to any divorcee, you will observe that they themselves go through a lot of pain and agonies and their children go through turmoil and devastation. God views husband and wife being bound together in a permanent marriage relationship, and nothing should be allowed to put them apart.
My husband used to say, “To be slow and sure is better than to be fast and foolish”. My husband and I courted for six years. Throughout that time, we did a proper study with all sincerity of each other’s character, vision and goals. If you are not contemplating divorce, then there is no need to rush into marriage. Take your time; be sure of what you are getting into. If it is a living family you desire, prepare yourself for it and enter into it with God’s backing and certainty.
Divorce is not as easy as it sounds, because it is not only limited to legally ending a marriage, but putting death where life once was. For those of you about getting married or yet to be married, be very careful.
In case you are reading this article right now and you are considering divorce, you have thought there is no way out. Hold it! Who knows, this might be the reason God gave you the opportunity of reading a material like this. If only you will accept and follow God’s master plan, your story will change for the better!
Or are you already divorced? Do not allow a sense of condemnation to overwhelm and destroy your colourful future. God can still perform His wonders in your life. Do you believe a miracle can still take place in your life and family to bring about a restoration? God is the Restorer! He will restore your marriage.
I hope this brother’s testimony will boost your faith:
“I read your article in the newspaper. In fact, I have seen a lot of changes in my life, which prompted me to give this glorious testimony of the wonderful works of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I got married in 1977 as an unbeliever, before I joined the police force in the year 2000. But somehow, my marriage broke up as a result of so many things. But God rebuilt the marriage from the advice and instruction I got from your article.
I congratulate you for your effort in enlightening young men and women concerning their marital lives, so that their marriages will be peaceful and successful.” Udual, A.
I see God giving you your own testimony, too, in Jesus’ name!
You need the grace of God upon your life to be able to stay put in your covenant marriage. This grace is released for those born again. You get born again by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your own Lord and personal Saviour. If you are set for this new birth experience, you can say this prayer and be born again:

BUT ONE

NO LONGER TWO BUT ONE (part 2)


Dear Reader,
Welcome to a another fruitful time in the presence of God. So far, I have discussed on the foundation that should be laid for the effectiveness of oneness in your marriage.
This week, as I round off this teaching, we shall be looking at Keys To Sustaining Oneness In Marriage. It is not enough to be united as one, it has to be sustained. The reason Jesus came is to give abundant life, even in marriage. Man must, however, co-operate with God to make marriage a mini-paradise on earth, as it is supposed to be. The sustainability of your marriage does not depend on God, but on you.
The following are the major keys that will help you in sustaining oneness in your marriage. When you do your own part, God will always fulfill His own part.

Lay Your Foundation on the Rock

The foundation of a building determines to a very large extent what happens to it, and whether that building will last long or not. For oneness in marriage to be sustained, you must lay your foundation upon the Rock, in the person of Jesus Christ.
Laying your foundation on the Rock means ruling your marriage with the Word of God. This is because Jesus is the Word of God (John 1:1). If your marriage is not built on God’s Word, then it is without a foundation, and it cannot be sustained, no matter what anybody tries to do to help! God’s Word says: If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalms 11:3). Jesus is the only sure foundation; lay your foundation on the solid Rock, and your home will stand.

Fulfill Your Marriage Responsibilities

Marriage has responsibilities attached to it. Co-operation, therefore, is a necessity. The wife, for instance, should submit to her husband in the home, be chaste, respectful and pure in her conversation. She should keep her home, making it a conducive place for the Holy Spirit to dwell.
The man on the other hand, must play a leadership role in the home, make provision for his family and train his children in the way of the Lord. When both the man and the woman fulfill their covenant responsibilities, it becomes easy for their marriage to be sustained, thus, no storm of life will be able to destabilize them because the force of oneness will be in operation.

No Hide-and-seek Game

For your marriage to be sustained, both you and your spouse must be open to each other. There should be no occasion to hide something from one another. God’s Word says: And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:25).
The word “naked” in this context means ‘openness’ to one another. If a couple is open to each other, they will not know shame and their marriage will be sustained. There are quite a number of people who hide things from their spouses, even Christians! When it comes to money, many believers are affected.
Whatever information will make your spouse disappointed in you if he/she hears it from someone else, should be made known on time, else you are involved in a hide-and-seek game. Funny enough, whether you like it or not, it will unexpectedly be discovered one day.

Wisdom – The Principal Thing

Wisdom is the principal tool for sustenance (Proverbs 4:7). Both you and your spouse need to constantly ask God for wisdom in handling the day-to-day affairs of your marriage. An act of foolishness on the part of any of you, may affect the stability of oneness in your marriage.
Wisdom prompts you to know when to talk and when to keep quiet; what to say and the right time to say it; where to go and at what time, etc. Do you know it is possible to say the right thing but at the wrong time, thereby cause instability in your home? God’s Word says: Through wisdom is a house builded; and by understanding it is established (Proverbs 24:3).
For oneness in marriage to be sustained, you need wisdom. This wisdom comes from God and whenever you need it, you can ask Him for it (James 1:5). Laying the foundation of your marriage upon the Rock implies making Jesus Christ the central focus in your home and allowing Him to take His rightful place. If you are set for this, say this prayer of faith:

Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins.  Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour.  Now I know I am born again!

Congratulations! Till I come your way again next week, call or write, and share your testimonies with me through:

SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

COMMITMENT: Backbone Of Successful Marriages


Dear Reader,
I thank God for the privilege to bring His Word your way today. I pray that you will be mightily blessed in Jesus’ name!
Commitment is the backbone of any successful relationship, marriage and family inclusive. It is the adhesive of every marriage. When commitment is lacking in the relationship between husband and wife, the chances of that home surviving is very slim.
Therefore, to enjoy family success, you must be committed both to the institution of marriage and to your spouse. God has joined you together, but you must be so committed both to the institution and your spouse that nothing is allowed to put you asunder (Mark 10:9).
What then is commitment? The Oxford Dictionary defines commitment as “an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action”. In other words, there are some things you cannot do by reason of your commitment. That is why Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:12: All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient.
Commitment makes you choose the expedient above the lawful. It makes you forgo some things that you like, take pleasure in or even sometimes, rights and privileges that are lawfully yours may have to be forfeited in the interest of the family.

God’s Word says: Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14).

Commitment, therefore, demands that you promote whatever it will take for you to ensure that peace reigns perpetually in your marriage. Whatever shortcomings your spouse or other members of your household may have, commitment demands that you find a way to cope with them. You may even have to forgo some things you really enjoy, just to ensure peace is maintained in your home.
As a man, for instance, commitment demands that you place the interest of your family above your own. God has programmed you as the breadwinner of the family, so, before you consider all that you need, you must first and foremost make adequate provisions for your family’s well-being. So also, as a wife in the home, no matter the lure of your social status, commitment demands that you pay top priority attention to the members of your family, especially your spouse, before yourself or your peers.
Commitment also demands that you discipline your thoughts to conform to the Word of God. Thought you know will cause your family hurt, until you overcome it. A man once lost his family and destiny to a lousy thought he failed to tame for 25 years. Instead of casting down the imaginations and fantasies of his heart, he constantly indulged in them, until they became an irreversible reality in his life. Like a roller coaster, his thoughts gradually took on flesh and before he could put a stop to them, his entire destiny was cast before the pigs and crushed under feet. He lost his family and destiny for lack of commitment.
Again God’s Word says that marriage is honourable – that is, respectable. Marriage, as an institution established by God, is perfect, but the individuals in it are not. People change as they grow, but marriage is constant. It is an unchanging institution. In order to build a successful marriage, therefore, those in it must learn to honour marriage itself. This is the secret! You can get so committed to the institution of marriage that you can cope with the imperfection of the parties involved. Commitment overlooks the physical changes in your spouse, sometimes the changing fortunes in your finances, etc.
As a single person, before you agree to marry anyone, find out how committed he/she is to God and to marriage. It is the level of his/her commitment to God that will determine how committed he/she will be to your marriage. Are you married to someone who is not committed to God, and now you are wondering why he/she is not committed to your marriage? He cannot be, because the foundation is faulty. He needs to be “sold out” to God first!
Nevertheless, all hope is not lost. If you make a decision today to become committed to your marriage and family, God’s grace will be available to you to establish your desire.
Grace is only available to the redeemed of the Lord. So, if you are not born again, there is no way you can be committed to God and you can never be committed to your marriage. You need to give your life to Christ. Are you set for it? Why not say this prayer of faith from your heart:

Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins.  Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour.  Now I know I am born again!

Congratulations! Till I come your way again next week, call or write, and share your testimonies with me through:

DIVORCE

GOD'S VIEW ABOUT DIVORCE

What is divorce?
Divorce is a practice whereby married couples decide to be separated in a bid to discontinue or put an abrupt end to their marriage, even while both of them are still alive. Some even drag their spouses to the court of law to get a legal backing, in order to disengage from a marriage that has been contracted.
From the beginning, it was not so. God did not create the woman, Eve, with the intention to be separated from Adam later in the future. She was made out of Adam’s ribs and was meant to be a part of him forever, since it was not mentioned for how long she was to be his helpmate, and vice versa.
Unfortunately, satan the devil crept into the garden when man was not watchful, sin followed and death was the penalty for sin: Ezek 18:20 The soul that sinneth , it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him. Today, we can see a lot more complications in homes, whereby disagreements of all manners degenerate so fast leading to permanent separation and divorce. Divorce has since become a major cancer ravaging several homes today, thus the need for you to arise and contend for the peace of your family.
Why Divorce?
Sin in its nature cannot, and never will yield positive results. So, when man fell in the Garden of Eden, one of the weapons the devil introduced so as to go against God’s initial plan of family unity is the tool of divorce. Don’t forget that a family where unity is rooted has the strength and full capacity to conquer the challenges of life.
No wonder Jesus laid emphasis on the importance of unity, in John 17:21-22 That they all may be one ; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one.
Anytime the thought of divorce permeates your heart, discard it like a waste; give no room to the devil in your marriage. You are more than a conqueror; the curse of sin no longer has dominion over your family. No matter the condition, God is still on the throne. All you need to do is to go back to Him in prayers, ask the Holy Spirit to direct you on the steps to take so peace can reign in your heart and home. I encourage you never to give in to the pressure of divorce; there is no situation too hard for God to handle(Jeremiah 32:27).
I pray for you today, because there is yet a balm of healing in Gilead, may the healing virtue flow in your direction today, causing every pain in your life and marriage to dry up from its root, in Jesus’ name. God’s mercy will prevail in your home; you will not be a victim of devil’s onslaught in Jesus mighty name.
Prayerlessness is one of the points of entry in a home, through which the devil releases his missiles. The saying is very true- a family that prays together stays together. When was the last time you and your spouse joined hands together to pray in agreement?
1 Peter 5:8-9 says: Be sober, be vigilant ; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. The bond of unity is strengthened on the altar of prayer. Now is the time for the Christian home to put in all efforts to steadfastly, consistently and prayerfully resist the evil one.
Wordless living is also a weak point in most families, today. You need to create the time for your family to study the word of God in the home. As you go to church regularly, the fact still remains that you need to share the Word of God in your home regularly.
In the course of counselling couples who resort to divorce, it has been noted that the loophole of not studying the Word together created entrance for the devil in such families. It is too dangerous for you not to have time together with your spouse in your home, whereby you expound and share the word, for your nourishment. Remember a threefold cord is not easily broken. For more emphasis on this truth, Eccl 4:12 says: and if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
In order to enjoy a hitch-free marriage, you need to be born again. You get born again by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. If you are set for it, please say this prayer: Lord Jesus, I come to You today, forgive me my sins, wash me in Your precious blood, come and dwell in my heart and be my Lord and personal savior. Thank You for saving me for I know that I am now born again. Congratulations and welcome to the family of God. From henceforth, I see a new you emerging, every failure of the past are turned to miracles in your life, and you begin to surmount all the challenges in your study, career, health, and family in Jesus Mighty name. Amen!

SEXUAL ABUSE

THE TRAP FOR SEXUAL ABUSE


I welcome you to another enlightening edition of Youths & Singles. I strongly believe that this month’s teaching will go a long way in speedily healing every unpleasant wound of sexual abuse (if any) around you, in Jesus’ name.
In the course of the month, I shall be considering the theme: The Trap Of Sexual Abuse.
What is Sexual Abuse? Sexual abuse can be defined as when you're being touched in a way you don't like, you're being forced to have sex, you're forced to look at sexual pictures or videos, you're made to watch someone do something sexual (this can include someone flashing or exposing themselves to you; this can be via webcam, pictures or in person), you're made to do something sexual to someone that feels uncomfortable or wrong; again, this can be online or in the real world.
The trap for sexual abuse or some behaviours that may raise concern include, when someone pays unusual or unnecessary attention to you, seeks opportunities to spend uninterrupted time alone with you, frequently buys you expensive gifts or gives you money, often walks into the bathroom while you are there. It also includes when someone shows unusual interest in your sexuality (for example makes comments about your body), pursues physical contact with you through hugging, touching, tickling, wrestling, even when you have indicated that you don’t like it, spends most of his free time with you, rather than with persons of his calibre, asks to take you on overnight trips alone, frequently offers to care for you, or asks if you can keep secrets, etc.
However, this is where the necessity for the Spirit of God comes in. It helps you as a child of God to discern what is pure and of negative intention (1 Corinthians 12:4-11). As explained in the above paragraph, if anyone comes around with contrary motives, the Spirit of God in you will make you uncomfortable with such individuals. In other words, if you choose to focus upon the Word of God, you will be enabled to be spiritually discerning.
Since every person and situation is different, victims of sexual abuse respond in various ways. The number of occurrences is staggering. But more staggering than the number of occurrences, is the acute damage done to the victim. The effects are physical, social, emotional, psychological and spiritual.
After a person has been sexually abused, he/she often experiences a range of feelings and reactions. Though these individuals cope in their own way, some have very strong responses after being sexually abused, while others are calm or numb. Some feelings and reactions might be experienced directly after the abuse or days and weeks later. Understanding that these feelings are normal and experienced by others who have been sexually abused, may make the feelings and reactions less frightening.
Immediate physical effects may be pain and bodily injuries, especially if the perpetrator used force. It may also include: bruises, broken bones, STIs, nausea, vomiting, headaches, and pregnancy. Longer-term physical effects may be disturbed sleep patterns, nightmares, insomnia, loss of appetite, stomach pains, etc.
Sexual abuse also causes harmful emotional, psychological, or physiological effects that are more severe than the effects of other crimes. These effects include self-blame, shame, guilt (or embarrassment), anxiety, stress (or fear), shock, impaired memory, confusion (or disorientation), anger, hostility (or aggression), sexualized behaviours (sexual perversion), denial, irritability, erratic mood swings, depression or despair, social withdrawal, decreased energy and motivation, suicidal thoughts, etc.
After all said, I like to introduce to you, friend, the surer escape route from sexual abuse – Jesus. Acknowledging Him as your Lord and personal Saviour will give Him access to leading and guiding you away from sexual abuse at any point in time in life.
Are you set to confess your sins and allow Jesus into your life? If you are, please say this prayer of faith from your heart loud and clear: Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins.  Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour.  Now I know I am born again!www.sparkin.blogspot.com