POWER OF COMPREHENSION
Depth of comprehension defines height of apprehension.
The comprehension you obtain will naturally determine the apprehension you attain. Depth determines height. Do not ever seek height, rather seek depth to gain height, you can�t miss height if you seek depth.
What you understand is what makes you outstanding. Therefore, seek understanding in the secret to become outstanding in the open. Your height is limited by your depth.
Solomon became outstanding because he obtained understanding by the largeness of heart God gave to him in response to his desperation for it. 1 Kings 3:9-12, 28,
1 Kings 4:29; Ps. 119:34, Eph. 1:18;3:16-19.
Daniel�s access to understanding secured him access to the palace in the reign of 4 kings consecutively.
Paul is still very much relevant today because God gave him comprehension of the things (ages) to come which now have come.
Access to understanding is access to the palace and access to the future. It is access to fame & to the top.
Lack of understanding is man�s limit, you can�t go to where/what you cannot see. If you must go farther, see farther. If you want to reach out first �reach in�.
Extent is usually drawn from intent. Just as an archer will necessarily have to pull the arrow to himself before he will shoot at his target, draw from the unseen to launch to the seen.
Get behind the veil to go beyond the veil. It is what you tap into that launches you to the top. Cry for understanding before God, if you want your voice to be heard among men.
Prov. 2:1-5; 4:7-9.
\CLIMBING TO NEW LEVEL
On the way to your new level are new devils.
Mk. 1:13; I Cor. 16:9.
Every time pressure is mounting up it is because destiny is about to take off into new height.
Pressure is a notice to new height. Hell usually breaks loose when ever heaven is about to open.
-But all it takes to subdue all devils at any level is power � Lk. 10:19 (9:1)
-Therefore, new levels demands new (fresh) empowerment which comes via prayer.
Lk. 4:1-14; Acts 4:23-33.
In prayer we come into union with God and gain power with God � Is. 30:29-31.
In prayer we interact with angels and contact their strength. Mk. 1:13
IN UNION WITH CHRIST
The whole essence of salvation in Christ is to restore the very life of God that created man in the beginning.
By salvation, we�re not just in touch with God but in union with Christ, we do not just have his kind of life but His very life just as God at creation gave His life to man, not just his kind of life.
We have His life, health, success, victory, triumph, intelligence, wisdom and every other thing He possesses, in the same quality that He exhibits.
Christ lives in us, He works in us, and He releases his life into us.
We should either take or settle for nothing less. Jesus paid for it all!
ACCESSING THE COVENANT
The platform for accessing God�s blessing for His people is the covenant.
But this covenant is accessed only by a walk with God � Gen 17:1, 2
A walk with God is made possible only by continuous and consistent obedience to God�s commandments � Deut 28:1-14.
Abraham practically walked with God by continuous obedience to God�s command.
Gen 12:1-4; 17:12; 22:1-18.
You cannot walk with God unless you please him and obedience is the only way to please him.
But obedience is made easy by deep affection for God. Heb.11:6; Jh.14:21, 23.
So, love Him to obey Him and obey Him to please Him. This will lead you ultimately into a walk (friendship) with Him.
By your walk with God you cut a covenant with Him that automatically makes you a beneficiary of His blessings. � Gen 17:1-2, Deut 7:12-15,
John 14:23; 15:14.
HARDSHIP OR HARDNESS
You’ll always be faced with a choice between hardness and hardship.
Go for hardness today to escape hardship tomorrow. Endure hardness today so as not to suffer hardship tomorrow. Endure today and enjoy tomorrow.
Face hardness today to phase out hardship tomorrow.
You can’t be a victim of hardship tomorrow if you pay your due to hardness today. Hardness is your escape route from hardship.
Hardness is discipline while hardship is suffering. Endure the pain of hardness today to escape the pain of hardship tomorrow.
COMPARE & COMPETE
Beware, comparison will always lead to unholy competition and competition is a game of fools. II Cor.12:10.
Comparison is not necessary because it wearies and reduces the �comparer�.
What you should rather do is compliment.
Don�t compete because it will make you incomplete. Many compete today because they feel incomplete.
Instead of competition which tears apart start co-operation with others in your team.
Competition makes you see others as enemies but co-operation embraces them as friends. Competition concentrates on self but co-operation concentrate on others.
Don�t be suspicious but supportive.
Competition limits you to your personal skill but co operation gives you access to skills of others.
Competition offers you small victory and joy but co- operation offers you large victory and joy.
Competition draws the line between a winner and a looser but co operation classifies all as winners.
DEAL WITH THE COVENANT
In relating with people you could sometimes be tempted to act contrary to Christian ethics because of their negative attitudes towards you.
The way to escape this trap is to deal with people on the platform of the covenant.
Look at every issue from the covenant platform and perspective.
Make the covenant your reference point. Always ask, what says the covenant?
Be guided by the covenant and not by circumstances.
You cannot be corrupted having respect for the covenant. Dan 11:32.
LIVE IN TRUTH
Constantly live in truth.
Truth liberates. Truth is fear free and fearless.
Truth is the escape route from traps.
You can never be trapped walking in truth. Deceit always makes people to descend.
Deceit drowns destinies.
Truth is transparent, truth is naked, and truth doesn�t hide; truth is open.
Truth doesn�t decorate. It detests make-ups, truth is never shady that is why darkness will never overtake it.
If you live in the realm of shades you may end in depth of darkness.
Truth must remain your lifestyle, truth must remain your guide, and truth must remain your habitat.
Lie makes people die, truth makes people tall.
Lie decreases, truth increases.
Live in truth to Live in triumph.
Ever truthful is ever triumphant.
GOOD UNDERSTANDING
No marriage thrives on the level of a couple’s educational qualifications, affluence or age; a successful marriage thrives on one’s understanding of the Word of God. It is your understanding of the subject of marriage that makes you stand out as a successful married man or woman. Your wealth of understanding determines your level of rest in the home.
The bible explicitly says: “…With all thy getting get understanding” (Proverbs 4.7).
Good understanding is a fundamental ingredient for successful family relationship. There is no substitute to having a good understanding of your spouse, as this will enable you appreciate every little thing about him/her.
1Peter 3:7 says, “…Dwell with your wife (or husband) according to knowledge…” Why knowledge? Because knowledge is power. That is what keeps the relationship on. When you are empowered with knowledge things begin to go well for you as you always know what to do in every given situation. The reason some couples always have crisis in their relationships is because they don’t know each other.
Remember that every individual is unique in his or her own way. Your spouse is a unique person, you need to study him or her to know what to say, when to say it and how to say it. Don’t assume that what works for Mr. and Mrs. ‘A’ will naturally work in your home. Take time to understand the peculiarities of your spouse in order to relate well. No matter the level of your relationship with your spouse, you
must know what to do in every situation; you must always have a plan of action
that will establish peace in the home at all times.
As a man you need to treat your wife with love and respect if you don’t want your prayers hindered. See what the bible says,
In the same way, you married men should live considerately with (your wives), with an intelligent recognition, (Of the marriage relation), honoring the woman as
(physically) the weaker, but (realizing that you) are joint heirs of the grace
(God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered
and cut off – otherwise you cannot pray effectively. – 1Peter 3:7 (Amp)
Some spouses are not considerate at all and as such they place uneasy demands on each other. You must be sensitive to the needs and desires of one another. A lot of couples don’t know much about each other’s needs. So they are not committed to one another. When you become sensitive to the needs/desires of your spouse, you make the relationship lively, which results in smooth sailing all through the years. If your husband just returned from a journey, the first thing he needs is a bath, food and rest. Don’t start with, “I need money for housekeep” or other concerns of the home.
On the other hand, there are some men, who when their wives ask for housekeep money, they become very aggressive and wild! That is the time they complain about their car, the structure they are erecting for the family shelter, children’s school fees and so on. It should not be so, because the man has the responsibility to meet the family’s basic needs. That is why he is the head of the family, it is his sole responsibility.
There are some men who give in to peace only when they have some money in their accounts, but once the money finishes, the home would be on fire. He would begin to behave like ‘the lion of the tribe of his family’; putting everybody under pressure.
A major reason for marriage is relationship. We are built for constant fellowship. This is why God’s word says, “It is not good for a man to be alone (or to be without relationship)” (Genesis 2.18-25). Some couples live together but they do not relate, they are not careful to meet the needs of one another. You must relate with your spouse to make your marriage lively. Please be sensitive to each other’s needs and desires.
One of the ingredients you need for good understanding in marriage is a right attitude. Your attitude determines your altitude in life. When you have a positive attitude your marriage relationship will work.
You also need cooperation. Always cooperate with your spouse in all matters. Many couples live as if their input in their marriage relationship is not needed. No marriage can last like that; the cooperation of both the man and the woman is needed to make it work. The Bible says, “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Phil 2:12). In other words, marriage must be worked out, it is a personal responsibility. You don’t watch a stable marriage happen; you work it out.
As a Christian you must cultivate a good character to be able to win in marriage. You must covet the very nature of Christ and make it your lifestyle. Don’t make lying your way of life, let the fear of God always be in you.
Lastly, one other thing that enhances good understanding between married couples is submission. And the submission is two-way because the Bible says: Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God – Eph 5:21
Just as the woman is expected to submit to her husband, the husband ought also to respect the views, ideas and suggestions of his wife as it has to do with their relationship in the home.
THE LAW OF TOTAL COMMITMENT PT 1
Your commitment to your spouse determines the beauty of your relationship. Your commitment determines your progress. What you are not committed to remains on the same spot, and as a result of improper care, it rots.
When you are committed to something, you put in all your efforts to bring out the best in it.
When you are wholeheartedly committed to your family as if that is all you are living for, you become a role model for others. An unhappy family will want to learn the secrets behind your happy home. The singles will be eager to get into marriage so they could start a family, because of what they see in your family.
The major way that a couple expresses their commitment to one another is by obeying the scripture in Ephesians 5:22-28. This is the cardinal instruction for maintaining a happy home. It says,
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and he is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it;
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the water by the word.
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
- Ephesians 5:22-29
The wife is to submit to her husband and the husband is to love his wife
. THE POWER OF COMMUNICATION
Communication is the music of marriage. When a relationship is void of communication, it becomes dead. It is best described as a ‘graveyard.’
For instance, when a cell phone is not in use and it is switched off. A caller cannot get through and the owner does not know that someone is trying to reach him. But as soon as the phone is switched on, calls begin to come in. Any relationship void of communication is like a switched-off cell phone.
Keep the line of communication open in your home; don’t let your spouse keep doing the talking.
When you talk don’t attack, avoid part answers. It is a two-way process. When one person becomes incommunicado, the relationship is obviously heading for a collapse! You can see Satan setting in. That is to say, you are living outside the will of God. You are debarring yourselves of God’s blessing. Of what use is a relationship without communication? It is simply useless because communication is a process that is essentially sharing. It is a mutual exchange between two or more persons.
The most important thing in any relationship is communication. Without communication you cannot build a long lasting family life. Most spouses don’t communicate with each other; they merely talk, just to bare their minds on issues bothering the family.
How to Establish Good Understanding
One of the ingredients you need for good understanding in marriage is a right attitude. Your attitude determines your altitude in life. When you have a positive attitude your marriage relationship will work.
You also need cooperation. Always cooperate with your spouse in all matters. Many couples live as if their input in their marriage relationship is not needed. No marriage can last like that; the cooperation of both the man and the woman is needed to make it work. The Bible says, “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Phil 2:12). In other words, marriage must be worked out, it is a personal responsibility. You don’t watch a stable marriage happen; you work it out.
As a Christian you must cultivate a good character to be able to win in marriage. You must covet the very nature of Christ and make it your lifestyle. Don’t make lying your way of life, let the fear of God always be in you.
Lastly, one other thing that enhances good understanding between married couples is submission. And the submission is two-way because the Bible says:
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God – Eph 5:21
Just as the woman is expected to submit to her husband, the husband ought also to submit to his wife giving her the respect and honour due to her. The husband is the head of the home, he is the head of the home, he is the leader while his wife and other members of the family are his followers. But as a good leader, he must know the importance of team work; each member must be allowed to function effectively in his or her area, so that none is dormant, but rather every one contributes adequately to the well being of the home.
A wife should not attempt to take over the place of the husband in the home, but rather respect him as the head of and always obey his instructions. What most women don’t understand is that they can easily win the respect and love of their husband if they learn to quietly accept their husbands’ decision even when not convenient.
Also, the husband should respect the wives, ideas and suggestions of his wife as it has to do with their relationship ad the home, especially in children and kitchen affairs. This is the woman’s area so the husband should give her a free hand and allow her to handle it. Even if she does know how to do it, he should give her to opportunity to learn.
For a couple to respect and submit to each other, they need humility. When you refuse to submit to your spouse, whether you are a man or a woman, you are simply exhibiting pride. And the bible says, “God resists the proud.” But when you embrace humility, you receive more grace from Him (James 4:6).
Lastly, relationship is built over time, it does not happen instantly. This is where the issue of patience comes in. To establish good understanding in your marriage relationship, you need patience because you require some time to study your spouse in order to make the necessary adjustments that enhance harmonious coexistence. Patience means appreciating the past while expecting a better future (Heb. 10:35).
UNDERSTANDING FOR MARITAL BLISS
No marriage thrives on the level of a couple’s educational qualifications, affluence or age; a successful marriage thrives on one’s understanding of the Word of God. It is your understanding of the subject of marriage that makes you stand out as a successful married man or woman. Your wealth of understanding determines your level of rest in the home.
The bible explicitly says: “…With all thy getting get understanding” (Proverbs 4.7).
Good understanding is a fundamental ingredient for successful family relationship. There is no substitute to having a good understanding of your spouse, as this will enable you appreciate every little thing about him/her.
1Peter 3:7 says, “…Dwell with your wife (or husband) according to knowledge…” Why knowledge? Because knowledge is power. That is what keeps the relationship on. When you are empowered with knowledge things begin to go well for you as you always know what to do in every given situation. The reason some couples always have crisis in their relationships is because they don’t know each other.
Remember that every individual is unique in his or her own way. Your spouse is a unique person, you need to study him or her to know what to say, when to say it and how to say it. Don’t assume that what works for Mr. and Mrs. ‘A’ will naturally work in your home. Take time to understand the peculiarities of your spouse in order to relate well.
No matter the level of your relationship with your spouse, you must know what to do in every situation; you must always have a plan of action that will establish peace in the home at all times.
As a man you need to treat your wife with love and respect if you don’t want your prayers hindered. See what the bible says,
In the same way, you married men should live considerately with (your wives), with an intelligent recognition, (Of the marriage relation), honoring the woman as (physically) the weaker, but (realizing that you) are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off – otherwise you cannot pray effectively.
– 1Peter 3:7 (Amp)
Some spouses are not considerate at all and as such they place uneasy demands on each other.
You must be sensitive to the needs and desires of one another. A lot of couples don’t know much about each other’s needs. So they are not committed to one another. When you become sensitive to the needs/desires of your spouse, you make the relationship lively, which results in smooth sailing all through the years. If your husband just returned from a journey, the first thing he needs is a bath, food and rest. Don’t start with, “I need money for housekeep” or other concerns of the home.
On the other hand, there are some men, who when their wives ask for housekeep money, they become very aggressive and wild! That is the time they complain about their car, the structure they are erecting for the family shelter, children’s school fees and so on. It should not be so, because the man has the responsibility to meet the family’s basic needs. That is why he is the head of the family, it is his sole responsibility.
There are some men who give in to peace only when they have some money in their accounts, but once the money finishes, the home would be on fire. He would begin to behave like ‘the lion of the tribe of his family’; putting everybody under pressure.
A major reason for marriage is relationship. We are built for constant fellowship. This is why God’s word says, “It is not good for a man to be alone (or to be without relationship)” (Genesis 2.18-25). Some couples live together but they do not relate, they are not careful to meet the needs of one another. You must relate with your spouse to make your marriage lively. Please be sensitive to each other’s needs and desires.
One of the ingredients you need for good understanding in marriage is a right attitude. Your attitude determines your altitude in life. When you have a positive attitude your marriage relationship will work.
You also need cooperation. Always cooperate with your spouse in all matters. Many couples live as if their input in their marriage relationship is not needed. No marriage can last like that; the cooperation of both the man and the woman is needed to make it work. The Bible says, “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Phil 2:12). In other words, marriage must be worked out, it is a personal responsibility. You don’t watch a stable marriage happen; you work it out.
As a Christian you must cultivate a good character to be able to win in marriage. You must covet the very nature of Christ and make it your lifestyle. Don’t make lying your way of life, let the fear of God always be in you.
Lastly, one other thing that enhances good understanding between married couples is submission. And the submission is two-way because the Bible says:
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God – Eph 5:21
Just as the woman is expected to submit to her husband, the husband ought also to respect the views, ideas and suggestions of his wife as it has to do with their relationship in the home.
DEVELOPING INTIMACY WITH GOD PART 2
Any time man turns his back of God, he faces the wilderness. Outside of God, life is full of hardships, dryness and struggles.
But Jesus came to bridge the gap between God and man. The Bible says, He was wounded for our transgressions (Isa.53:5). He died on the cross to pay the price for our sins and today, every man can receive forgiveness of sins ad be reconciled to God. That means every couple that chooses to, ca enjoy the same king union and fellowship that Adam and Eve had with God in the Garden of Eden before they sinned
However, it is a personal choice. You have to consciously invite Jesus into your life and your marriage, because He never goes where He is not invited or needed.
Until you invite Christ into your home, you keep suffering crises, but when you make Him the centre of you relationship, His glory will be seen upon you. And wherever God’s glory is present, shame is absent.
If you have not already done so, this is the time to invite God into your home. Tell Him you are ready to let Him have His way in your marriage. Submit to His authority and let His word become the guiding principle in your family relationships.
To develop intimacy with God, you must also pay attention to your spiritual development, as individuals and as a couple. Embrace earnestly, the Word of God. Let prayer and the study of the Word be your lifestyle. When you draw nearer to God, He will draw nearer to you (James4:8)
Avoid sin, because it was sin that separated Adam and Eve from God in the first place. Make up your mind to hate whatever God hates and love what ever He loves. Be at peace with Him and He will be at peace with you. If you honour Him as the head of your home, He will also honour you among men (1 Sam. 2:30).
2 Chron. 15:2 Says,
….The Lord is with you, while ye be with Him; and if you seek him, he will be found of you; but if ye forsake him, he will forsake you.
As you seek God with all your heart, you will find Him. He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Developing Intimacy with the Father
Intimacy with God the father is a very vital code for happy marriage, because no one knows the institution more than the one who started it.
He said in John. 15:5,
“I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without m ye can do nothing.
You need God in your marriage because without His help you can do nothing, but with Him on your side you can so all things. The Bible says in Eccl. 4:9 that two are better than one, but it also says,
…A threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecc.4:12
As a couple you may enjoy some level of success, but with God on your side, you have no limits because the three make an unbeatable team.
When God is in the centre of your marriage, it remains intact; the home cannot fall apart. So the best way to enhance your marriage relationship is to develop intimacy with God, as a couple and as individuals. The stronger your intimacy with God, the better your relationship with your spouse becomes.
You must give God His rightful place in your life ad your marriage if you desire a happy marriage. Give God and his word the place of priority in your home.
As the first couple on earth, Adam and Eve were made in God’s own image; they were given dominion over the rest of creation. Everything they needed to live a good life was provided in the Garden of Eden. But God specifically commanded them not to eat the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
And the Lord commanded the man, saying of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:
But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for I the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. Gen.2:16-17
Tragically, they ate the forbidden fruit, and because of their disobedience, they were cut off from that divine connection. They became limited in all areas of life. Before Adam and Eve sinned, God use to come down in the cool of the day to fellowship with them in the Garden (Gen.3:8). They were covered with the glory of God. But the day they disobeyed God, that intimacy ended. They were driven out of the Garden into the wilderness and that marked the beginning of crises in all areas of their lives, including their marriageE.
HOW TO MAKE MARRIAGE WORK
Marriage is the coming together of a man and woman for harmonious living. It is a covenant relationship between two people of opposite sex, both of them seeking to give and receive satisfaction for their healthy needs and desires.
As a covenant relationship, marriage is a contract agreement between a man and a woman on one side and God on the other side. The covenant has terms of agreement; each party has a part to play. And when this is done, the covenant attracts blessings but when the terms are broken it attracts curses to the defaulters. When a couple enters into this covenant agreement, they are enrolled into the institution of marriage.
It is good at this point to mention that no matter how long you live with someone of opposite sex, you are not married until you take the necessary steps to legalize your relationship, according to the law and customs of the land and the commandment of God.
Just as a pet that has lived long in a home cannot be called a child, so also a man and woman that have lived together, no matter the number of years, cannot automatically be called husband and wife, except they obey the guiding laws of the marriage institution. It is respect for the institution of marriage that makes it work.
Marriage can be likened to a school where you begin to acclimatize yourself to a new environment and receive a completely new orientation to life. In this institution, there are basic rules you must obey.
One thing that is common to all institutions of learning is the writing of examinations at specific periods, with timetables which enables students prepare ahead. So also in the marriage institution; couples undergo examinations from time to time, the only difference in this case is that there are no timetables. So, the best way couples can pass such exams us to live ready for any challenge that might come up at anytime. They must also embrace sincerity as the rule of the game. That means there should be no ‘hide and seek’ because God created the man and his wife to be naked and yet unashamed (Gen.2:25)
Another thing about the institution of marriage is that there is no date of graduation; it is a life-long venture. Unfortunately, in our societies today, we have many cases of divorce; people jumped into marriage and jumped out again. It should not be so! Marriage is for life, once a couple is married, they must remain committed to the covenant and observe all the guiding rules of marriage. None is permitted to ‘break the hedge’ or do anything against the success of the union. Once you get enrolled into the institution of marriage, it requires the involvement of your spirit, soul and body. There Word of God says,
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they shall become one flesh. – Ephesians 5:31
Until you live for a cause you remain under a curse. And whatever you live for, you give your life completely to it. Marriage is a good cause and it is worth living for. No matter the bad experiences of other people, marriage is good. It was designed to make life great and complete.
GOD'S NO.1 INSTITUTION
Marriage is the coming together of a man and woman for harmonious living. It is a covenant relationship between two people of opposite sex, both of them seeking to give and receive satisfaction for their healthy needs and desires.
As a covenant relationship, marriage is a contract agreement between a man and a woman on one side and god on the other side. The covenant has terms of agreement; each party has a part to play. And when this is done, the covenant attracts blessings but when the terms are broken it attracts curses to the defaulters. When couples enter into this covenant agreement, they are enrolled into the institution of marriage.
It is good to mention at this point that no matter how long you live with someone of opposite sex, you are not married until you take the necessary steps to legalize your relationship, according to the law and customs of the land and the commandment of God.
Just as a pet that has lived long in a home cannot be called a child so also a man and a woman that have lived together, no matter the number of years, cannot automatically be called husband and wife, except they obey the guiding laws of the marriage institution. It is respect for the institution of marriage that makes it work.
Marriage can be likened to a school where you begin to acclimatize yourself to a new environment and receive a completely new orientation to life. In this institution, there are basic rules you must obey.
One thing that is common to all illustration of learning is the writing of examinations at specific periods, with timetables which enable students prepare ahead. So also in the marriage institution; couples undergo examinations from time to time, the only difference in this case is that there are no timetables. So, the best way couples can pass such exams is to live ready for any challenge that might come up at anytime. They must also embrace sincerity as the rule of the game. That means there should be no �hide and seek� because God created the man and his wife to be naked and yet unashamed. (Gen. 2:25)
HOW TO MAKE MARRIAGE WORK
A happy married life is not a function of luck but a matter of understanding the codes that make it work. When you understand and live by these codes, you command mastery in the area of marriage and you become a positive point for others.
You don't need strength or educational qualifications to make your marriage work; it is neither by might nor by power. You need to look into the perfect law of liberty and continue in it and things will begin to work for you.
I want to encourage you to study the word of God, not as a routine but as necessity for life. By so doing you would locate the solution to the particular challenge you are facing in your marriage.
Whatever is mocking and you and causing you shame in marital relationship shall be dealt with! Nothing will weigh you down again, I Jesus name!
If you are single and you are due for marriage, I congratulate you for reading this book because God will do a new thing in your life very shortly!
Genesis 1:27 says, “…God never created man to be alone. From the beginning, He created them male and female. This means His plan for you is to be married, and He is committed to that plan, so be expectant!
Every devil that has been standing in the way of your marriage is cast out of the way now, in the name of Jesus!
Every satanic veil or covering that is cast over your life is hereby removed by the quickening power of heaven in the name of Jesus!
I decree that there shall be no more disappointments, misfortune or bad luck for you! Expect divine coincidence from now on! You are loosed into favour, in the name of Jesus!
God who knows your end form the beginning shall satisfy your heart desires concerning your marriage. Watch out your miracle is on the way! It shall be delivered shortly.
VITAL KEY TO HAPPY MARRIAGE
Intimacy with God the Father is a very vital code for happy marriage, because no one knows the institution more than one who started it. He said in Jhn.15:5;
I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
You need God in your marriage because without His help you can do nothing, but with Him on your side you can do all things. The Bible says in Ecc.4:9 two are better than one and also says,
…… A threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecc 4:12.
As a couple you may enjoy some level f success, but with God on your side, you have no limits because the three make an unbeatable team.
When God is in the centre of your marriage, it remains intact; the home cannot fall apart. So, the best way to enhance your marriage relationship is to develop intimacy with God, as a couple and as individuals. The stronger your intimacy with God, the better your relationship with your spouse becomes.
When God created Adam and Eve, it was not only for the purpose of relating with one another, He designed them for a unique relationship with Himself. And no other creature enjoys this kind of union with God. That is why it is very important for a married couple to develop intimacy with Him.
You must give God His rightful place in your life and your marriage if you desire a happy marriage. Give God and His word the place of priority in your home.
Causes Of Broken Marriages Pt 2!
Emotional Response to Issues
The way to avoid this is to become mature in understanding by giving a second and third thought to every issue before responding.
Emotion is born when sentiment is allowed to prevail over realities. The Bible says:
He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
Prov. 25:28
Control yourself! Control your emotions! Do not allow yourself to be provoked to anger. Anger lies in the bosom of fools. Control your tongue! Words spoken in anger cause untold damages in homes.
A wrathful man stirreth up strife; but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.
- Prov.15:18
The In-Law Factor
Your home should not be governed according to the dictates of your in-laws. Your goal must be to please God. When God is pleased every other person will be pleased. Fight against external interfaces in your home, because it is a subtle way through which the devil comes in.
The interference of in-laws can be cheaply handled with wisdom, especially when there is a good relationship between husband and wife.
The syndrome of in-laws creep in where there is a crack in the relationship between husband and wife. In-laws will naturally respect the couple and their decisions the moment they see harmony in their relationship.
Neglect
Neglect comes in when there is a gulf in the relationship. When the couple begin to ignore each other, they no longer pay attention to one another. At this stage the husband no longer regards the wife as and vice versa. Each goes his or her own way.
Never allow your marital relationship to degenerate to a state of neglect. Neglect gives room to the devil and the Bible warns against it. 1 Tim.4:14 says,
Neglect not the gift…which was given
thee…
Your personal relationship with one another is very important. Your spouse is a gift from God, and you know, the gift that you neglect cannot benefit you. Do not neglect each other! Neglect is a deadly spirit that slowly paralyses the initiative of your spouse towards your wellbeing.
The Cares of This World…
Some factors that can cause cracks in the home are outlined in Mark 4:19. They are,
…The cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things…
The pursuit of the pleasurable things of this world, the unquenchable thirst for riches, power, and position, bring untold sorrows to marriages. The first home God instituted crumbled because of all these things.
Adam and Eve were free to eat all the fruits in the garden except one. But that particular one that they were forbidden to eat was the one that Eve wanted. Her desire for the non-essentials of the world brought about the fall of man.
And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit...
Gen.3:6 (Emphasis mine).
It might be good for food, it might be good to put on your body, it might be pleasant to the eyes, it might enhance your position, but is it good for your destiny?
Stop comparing your home with that of your neighbours! Stop comparing your husband with your friend’s husband! Stop comparing your wife with other women! This is what pushes people into the pursuit of unnecessary things, which eventually lead them to destruction. Paul writing to the Corinthian church said,
…but they measuring themselves by themselves among themselves are not wise.
2 Cor.10:12
It’s time to be wise! The cares of this world lead to destruction, while giving attention to the word exalts.
Rebuilding Broken Marriages!
Some Pharisees came to interview him (Jesus) and tried to trap him into saying something that would ruin him. “Do you permit divorce?” they asked.
“Don’t you read the Scriptures?” he replied. “In them it is written that at the beginning God created man and woman, and that a man should leave his father and mother, and be forever united to his wife.
The two shall become one-no longer two, but one! And no man may divorce what God has joined together.”
“Then, why,” they asked, “did Moses say a man may divorce his wife by merely writing her a letter of dismissal?”
Jesus replied, “Moses did that in recognition of your hard and evil hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended.
And I tell you this, that anyone who divorces his wife, except for fornication, and marries another, commit adultery.”
- Matthew 19:4-9 (TLB)
Divorce and separation is not part of God’s plan for marriage. His original plan is for a man and his wife to live together all through their days on earth. The two are to leave their parents and cleave to one another – when two individuals cleave, they become one and since you cannot separate a man from himself, a married couple should not be separated.
If you have two pieces of paper glued together, what happens when you try to separate them? You may end up tearing them apart. Consequently, both may be destroyed. That is why Jesus said, “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder” because there would be serious damages in the process.
Divorce and separation in marriages is destructive. When a family is torn apart, there is always pain, sorrow of heart and bitterness. But I am glad to let you know that what ever is destroyed can be rebuilt because we serve a God of second chance; He is the God of restorations.
Marriages are not meant to fail. But what happens when they do? There is a way out. Micah 7:8 says, “Rejoice not against me o mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me.”
When you fall, you can rise again. It is only when you remain on the ground that you are called a failure. Many have torn their families apart through carelessness and laziness because they refuse to take positive steps.
If you are presently divorced or separated from your spouse, I want you to know that your relationship can be built again. Convince yourself that in the beginning it was not designed to be so. Assure yourself again and again that, “there shall be restoration for me, because I’m a covenant child. God is no respecter of persons. He who has done it for others will surely do it for me.”
The Need For Home Management!
The dream of every married man or woman is to have a home where everything is orderly and where there is prosperity and progress. That is also God’s will for your home but one of the things it takes to achieve that goal is creative management. Good management is another code for happy married life, which some couples ignore and they end up in crisis.
What Is Management?
Management can be defined as skilful handling of anything put in your care.
All the resources you have at your disposal come from God, He entrusted them to you and these include your time, finances, gifts, talents, assets, etc. you also have members of your family; the husband, the wife and the children – these are great destinies and potentials that must not be wasted. God’s purpose is to make your home a show piece for all to see. Improper management is the reason some couples end up being demoralized and their homes are in disarray.
Good management of resources qualifies you for more of God’s blessings. To manage your resources properly, you need wisdom. Prov.24:3 says, “Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established.”
When you operate in the wisdom of God, no matter how little the resources in your hand, it will always be more than enough.
Wisdom demands that you always set your priorities right. It is lack of discipline and integrity to spend beyond your means.
Just as individuals are peculiar, every home is also peculiar, unique and special. So, even though there are general management rules that we can follow, you require the wisdom of God to devise unique ways of managing your home, because the priorities in other homes may not be the same in yours. This is why you need creativity to be able to meet every need of your home without running helter-skelter.
Have a good sense of management. Good managerial principles when adhered to, bring peace and harmony in the home. It will put an end to all your struggles with family finances, relationships, academic performance of your children and other areas of family life.
You need stock-taking; take stock of what comes into your home from time to time and keep record of your expenses. This will help you to block any leakages and arrest wastage where necessary.
What Do You Plan For?
The role of planning in any home cannot be overemphasized. Planning helps you to define your purpose and activities. It helps you to set standards of performance so that results can be compared with the set standards for appraisal.
As a couple, you can plan basically for your wellbeing, your togetherness and your future. Everything about the home must be planned for. Plan for the number of children you want to have for their future, plan your spiritual and social life. For instance, you don’t have to wait until the day your children are set to resume school before you start looking for school fees! When you plan ahead you deliver yourself from anxiety of looking for things at the last minute. It is true that you believe God for divine supplies, but as you believe, make sure you have a plan.
My husband often says that any man who waits till the day his wife is to deliver before he begins to run around for the hospital bill is not a planner. He had a long notice of nine months, but did nothing.
You cannot use another person’s plan to run your life and your home. Be creative and prayerful and God will help you to develop a plan that suits your home and resources per time.Plan, both for now and the future. Just as you plan for what your family will eat on a daily basis, also plan ahead for family projects like building a house, buying a car, etc. Ensure that you plan according to your size per time. Remember that men are in sizes and life is in phases. If you manage and plan your present level well, God will take you speedily to the next phase
The Importance of Planning!
Many families today lack planning and that is why things have been falling apart for them.
What is planning?
Planning can simply be defined as putting issues in the right future perspective. This initiates decisions and guarantees results for every step taken. Planning is one of the secret codes for blissful marriage. Luke 14:28 asks,
…who would begin construction of a building without first getting estimates and then checking to see if he has enough money to pay the bills? (The Living Bible)
By application, this scripture is saying, “Who will begin a family without first planning?”
Planning also means mapping out your order of activities and spreading your available resources to meet the relevant needs.God expects you to plan wisely and use the resources He has given you for the successful and smooth running of your home.
There is nothing in your hands that is too small. There is no situation you are facing as a couple that cannot change for the better, if only you will plan.
When there is a plan, management becomes easy. Living without a plan is like traveling through a desert without a compass or a map. That will be a fruitless, endless journey.
Planning for every aspect of family life is very important, it is something that every couple aught to do. For effective take off of the family, there must be adequate planning from the onset. You don’t just get into marriage and begin to have children as they come, you plan for them before they arrive.
Show me a planner, and I will show you a man with a bright future.
Every prudent man (every master planner) dealeth with knowledge: but a fool (a non planner) layeth open his folly. Prov.13:16
Marriage Processes
Many people think that marriage is just when a man and a woman come together and begin to live under the same roof. There is more to it! There are principles that must be followed in order to make it work. Things do not work because of the personalities involved but because of the principles applied. Marriage is a process of adjustment, agreement, appreciation and total commitment to one another for better living.
Let us examine each of these processes closely.
Adjustment
The process of adjustment involves making necessary changes in order to conform or fit into a new way of life or a new environment. In marriage, there is no end to adjustment. If you want your marriage to work, you have to keep adjusting in all ways and all areas of life to make your relationship better daily. You can’t say, “This is the way my parents used to do it or this is the way they do it in our culture.” You must be ready to adjust to your partner, to life as a married manor woman, and to do everything according to the injunction of scriptures.
Adjustment means making little changes where and when necessary in order to correct or improve your relationship. The reason for adjustment is that every individual is unique. No matter the similarities or the level of love between a couple, they still have their differences. It is also possible that they come from different backgrounds, different cultures, with different upbringing, etc. Moreover, God made men and women different. They think differently, react differently to the same situations and their needs are different, so for a couple to fit in as marriage partners and become one, there must be adjustment, especially in their behavioral pattern and way of thinking. For instance, as a married man or woman, you can not continue to think or act like a single person, your perspective and attitude must change. If as a wife, for instance you like to keep your hair long but your husband wants you to keep low cut, you should make up your mind to adjust immediately; you don’t have to fight over it because the Bible makes it clear that your husband is the owner of your body. If as a man you discover that your wife does not like sleeping with lights on, but you like the lights on, you can use a colored bulb so that the light is not too bright for her and at the same time, not too dark for you. By so doing, both of you would be satisfied and there would be peace. That is adjustment.
Agreement
Agreement is a product of adjustment. Where there is no adjustment there can be no agreement and where there is no agreement there would be no peace. Marriage thrives on agreement not arguments. Two people cannot walk or live together except they agree (Amos 3.3). Agreement comes as a result of harmony of opinions between a couple. No one person knows it all. Couples must endeavour to create an atmosphere for productive dialogue rather than remaining silent with so many issues bottled up within. Even God says, “Come let us reason together...produce your strong cause, let us plead together” (Isa. 1:18, 43:26). That is the principle you must adopt to encourage agreement in your home. However, dialogue must never be allowed to degenerate into argument. An argument only confirms people in their own opinions and has never brought solution. The best way to encourage agreement, is to always turn to the word of God for guidance.
Agreement has benefits. The Bible says when you dwell together in unity, you enjoy blessings that you don’t even deserve (Psalm 133). Also, when there is agreement, trust is reinforced and this helps to guard against separation or divorce.
Appreciation
Marriage is all about appreciation. Nothing provokes a man to better performance like appreciation. You cannot appreciate people enough; the more you do it the more appreciated you become. How much do you value or admire your spouse? Your value determines the level of respect that you have for one another. The person you don’t appreciate tends to depreciate; he or she will lack inspiration and aspiration for new things. You must learn to appreciate your spouse. It is God’s nature to always appreciate, that was why after He created the first man and woman, He looked at them and blessed them. That is appreciation. Always appreciate your spouse. Compliment your spouse instead of comparing him or her with others. Remember, comparison is the game of fools while appreciation gives no room to a complaining spirit.
With this understanding, you have the right foundation for a stable family relationship. I decree peace to your marriage this day!
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